Friday, February 20, 2009

IT'S OVER.....




DOC PREEZY,
So for the last few days there's been a lot of commotion and activity around me, some I was a part of (good), some I was just witnessing (not-so-good), and somehow I have a feeling that a lot is headed my way (good to me, not-so-good for others, all in perspective), so I decided to stop and try to put one of my 'Preezy-Takes-On' Blogs. The one where I pontificate and provide a little of my sage advice as “the nigga who's taken the test and failed”, so it's easy to come back and pass it. I'm good because I've been bad before. Do you know what the Feds do when they catch nigga's/ white people who successfully pull of high-difficulty hacks? The really good guys? They offer them prison, or jobs. Think of me as that dude.

Upon careful consideration, I have decided that I know the exact moment that someone should leave in a marriage. I'm going to discuss marriage as opposed to a relationship, because relationships have much more in the way of options to separate. Their may be a few material considerations, maybe a dog, but marriages usually have kids involved. Well, kids make every situation more serious, TRUST ME....I know.... but kids don't automatically mean “I'm stuck nigga!!!”. Most kids would rather be from a broken home than have to live in one. Children mean that you really do have to be able to say certain things with a clear conscience, because they can hold you accountable in ways that your best friend or even your parents can't. The person that you need or choose to walk away from, they won't have that option. Well, they could try, but they'll have to make that choice themselves. You can't make it for them. You have to be careful, because that's their mommy or daddy. Don't get caught out trying to change a child's mind about a parent. But anyway, there is a moment that you will know it's time to walk.

Most people who go into divorce are simply not ready for the shit.I haven't been thru one of these yet...and hopefully never but I'm sure it's something that you can't prepare for, because every one is different. We all deserve to be happy. If you have someone who is in your life that is just an emotional black hole of Misery, sucking all the joy you have out of you and into them, you should really question what it is about that person you need? But when do you say “Okay, this is it”?

You do it when you are not angry. When you can look at the situation with objectivity, you're not crying, when it doesn't hurt, and you're just like: “*Sigh...* What THE FUCK are we doing? What THE FUCK are you doing? It's obvious you don't love me. I really feel as though if I'm being honest, I don't love you either. Don't you want to be happy? I do. We've cried, fought, screamed, yelled, and we are in the same place we've always been. I don't have anything left.” When you've done counseling, you've talked to your pastor, rabbi, imam, whatever, you've talked to his or her Mom, your nigga, you've sacrificed a goat... when you have simply turned over every rock you could find in pursuit of a solution and you are drained, you can look your child in the eye and not say “I was just pissed and I walked away.” It is time. As long as you don't have to tell that child “I lost my head for a moment and said something I didn't mean, and that's why you've had to be without your mommy/daddy for 10 years...” or whatever. When you are not nearly emotional and you are completely objective, that's when you close the door. How long will it take? It's kind of like the Supreme Court ruling on pornography, “You'll know it when you see it.” If it takes you 12 times to pull him out of some random hoe's apartment, it takes YOU 12 times, but when it comes time to pull the trigger (the metaphorical, not literal, people), squeeze slow and smooth, on the exhale, and let it fly to the bull's eye. Second chances are not “second-chances” on the 8th time, 9th time, 10th time. You have what you have. If you don't want it, don't keep it. It simply is what the fuck it is.

I think that fat ass nigga Dr. Phil said “You have to earn your way out of a marriage.” That's real talk. I know a guy right now that's known a chick for 11 days and is considering marriage... in two weeks. He SHOULD earn his way out of doing something so colossally stupid. Once you're in, you don't get to walk out. So do all you can, but when you've done it, love yourself, because you know by that point that the person sitting across from you is just not capable.

*Doc Lex Second Opinion*

I would also have to agree with Pat on this ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids. Alot of young people who get pregnant at a young age try to do the "right thing" and get married because of the kid when its actually the "wrong thing" to do.

If you don't have love for that person to begin with, more than likely you won't have any real love for that person in the long run and you are bascially delaying the inevitable. Its kinda like in science and physics and shit. when you "force" something, it creates "tension" which in turn creates "pressure" and after enought "pressure" is built up, shit begins to break and explode. When you try to force something like love, it creates tension between the two of you and you all are pressuring each other to make the shit work and all thats gonna do is blow up, not only in your face, but in your seeds face too. You don't have to be living in the house with you child to be a good parent or role model, you just have to be "there" for them because alot of times, kids are living IN broken homes where the parents are together in the same crib, but they are creating a hostile environment. The best thing for you to do is talk to each other and be "grown" about the shit and be realistic because the shit is no longer about you two anymore. If one wants to leave, let them go because they are gonna find some way to leave, one way or the other. and like they say "if you LOVE something, let that shit go".

Doc Lex...out.

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