So me and "Doctor K" was talking today and she ran across the following on craigslist.
pregnant...need attention? (Chicago or Burbs) Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-02-26, 9:55AM CST
In search of a married or single pregnant woman who needs special attention...I can provide you oral pleasure and more if so desired. I am disease free and expect the same from you. I love to kiss, be naked and touch alot. This is NSA and must be discreet. Sounds hot doesn't it?
* Location: Chicago or Burbs * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Aye......not only is that not a good look, but that's some sick ass shit. I told y'all pussy can make men do strange things, but this is the strangest shit I've seen thus far. We can't be doing this shit. Dudes are going to the extreme to get some pussy. What ever happened to "Do you like me...check YES or NO"? .....ok maybe not that but what ever happened to just asking a chick if she's gonna do something "strange for some change" From what Doctor K told me...this is normal on craigslist.
I am ashamed that some dude had to post that online, because something THAT little and sick can make ALL dude's look bad. What's not a big deal to one chick is the end of the world to the next one. Had to vent for a second.
So no, you cannot put a relationship on "reserve." See here is something I've observed about men, women, and relationships. For all practical purposes, women want to get married or commit when they meet a man and fall in love. Men, on the other hand, are confined by societal pressure to be providers, and as a result, oftentimes absolutely will not get married or commit until they feel they have everything else in their lives in order first. In an ideal world maybe it would make sense to put your dream girl on the reserved books shelf until you finish reading all those other books you took out (you know, the overdue ones with all the late fees... yeah, those books). But this is reality and nobody is getting any younger here... Jagged Edge, anyone?
Nobody wants to be that book on reserve, laying around, getting all dusty while all the other books are getting their pages turned... So here's something for everyone to think about. How about, instead of impulsively getting into relationships, we take some time to date ourselves first, get to know what it is we really want out of life, so when Girl X or Boy Y come along, we're already at a place where can say "Yes, please!" or "No, thank you!" ---before we get past Chapter 1 and decide the book is REAL interesting but we already have too many books to finish before we can give our full attention. So try that first before jumping in.
Believe it or not, one of the first things a women notices when she sees you are your shoes. why? well according to my mother, women look at your shoes because if you take time to take care of something you walk on everyday that people rarely notice, then you pay attention to the smallest details and are aware of yourself and also, your shoes say alot about your sense of style and your self as a person. Now, you don't have to have the dopes AF1's or Jordan's or none of that shit, just keep what you have clean as hell. if you rockin K Swiss, make sure you got them shits clean as hell. if a girl is messin with a dude who has dirty ass, stankin shoes, that tells you alot about HER as well. So the next time you are about to leave the crib, remember: "Step how you rep", meaning if you're "clean", make sure your shoes are. shit, i have over 100 pairs so i make sure i'm steppin and reppin correctly at all times. make sure you do as well.
Alot of people in the forum and chat have noticed that i always say "Music is like your DNA, it can tell people alot about you before they even meet or see you" and that is very true. the more well rounded a persons music choices are, the more depth there is to that person. for instance, look at the musical choices of Doc Preezy. you can tell that nigga will be using "Niagras" at age 75 because that nigga has ALOT of RnB music, but he does have other musical tastes, but for the most part, his music tells you that he is on "Yop Mode" 24/7. lol. so if you're trying to get a female, remember, keep your shit diverse. an "Artsy" chick will NOT feel like hearin no damn Lil Wayne and a "Yamp/Bustdown/Bopper/Floozy/Skeezer/or whatever niggaz is callin Hoes nowadays" will not be feelin any Coldplay, so pick your tunes accordingly. having different kinds of music will increase conversation, conversation is basically foreplay in the right hands and if your wordplay is smooth (like mine) then soon, with the help of music, you will be talkin your way into some drawls. Music is some of the most powerful shit on the face of this planet. it can effect the way you feel everyday. you know why DJ's get so much pussy without sayin a word? Because women like men with some form of power (which i will save for another entry). So when the DJ is on the turntables, he has the power to control how you dance, how you feel and how you hear shit and women love that. so with that said, remember, music is also part of a first impression, so choose wisely.
Yop mode indeed Doctor Lex. No female wants to suck a dick while "Lil Wayne and Pharrell - Aye Man" is in the background. Nor do they wanna bounce on a dick with "OJ The Juiceman - Quarter Pound" blaring in the bedroom. By me being a producer, I listening to it all. Sometimes you gotta switch it up. You can't always have R.Kelly on when you're about to yop. I listen to everything. Old School R&B, that ugly nigga SEAL, and Michael McDonald. Don't sleep on Grath Brooks R&B single when that nigga had a black wig on. I smashed to "Lost in you"....go look it up. Step out of the box. Women peep that off top. Look like a goon......they think you riding around with the whole Jeezy catalog in your cutless. UNLESS YOU LIKE YOUNG HOES THAT DO ENJOY GETTIN THEIR BACK BLOWN TO "HYPNOTIZE" or "BRICKS" With a classy female....play something that will expand her mind and would want her to get to know what's really inside your head......on your shoulders. You'll be surprised how many hidden gems their our in other genre's of music.
People, male and female....but mostly female. The only time you should bring baggage into a relationship is if you're goin on vacation together. i don't know HOW many times I've been with a female and she brings over shit from her LAST relationship, like DRAMA, and expects me to be alright with that shit and comfortable. if you don't like being compared to other people, don't compare your new significant other with your last. I've had to put hoes on a "Probationary Period" just for that reason because somehow, because their OLD dude did "this and that", they automatically think I'm in the same field. and I'm not. and when i start hearing the words "Well my last...", its time to step into my office and its time for you to get dismissed. and if you want to mess with a person who you suspect on having "baggage", have them bring that shit to the surface and out in the open. that way, you will know how to move and maneuver through out the relationship without having to deal with "The Last Dude" syndrome. if you feel its gonna be an issue say so up front and tell that person "aye, it looks like you are still going through your shit right now and its your responsibility to fix that shit, not mine. so when you feel you are ready and done with that situation, come holla at ya boy". if she can't respect that, then she was only gonna use you as a rebound or she is telling you that she is a weak person who wants everybody to solve her shit instead of taking action her damn self. So, if a chick is bring baggage, but there are now Louis bags or none of that shit around, tread softly and watch out for that "Other Nigga" because you WILL be gettin compared and blamed for HIS shit.
Stop comparing us to that "other dude." Keep on talking about him will leave you blowing up his facebook tryna win him back with special statuses. LEX is right about all of this but some of the baggage shit can from what I call "If I ain't happy....you ain't happy" syndrome. I know a person that suffers from this disease. Most of the time my relationships can be great and awesome until my chick(s) get that "one myspace e-mail" You know....the "THAT NIGGA AIN'T SHIT" or "WE STILL FUCKIN" e-mail. The only advice I can give you for this one is make sure you don't have a dumb ass girlfriend that will believe that shit. (unless you really are doing that....and that's foul) I had a chick e-mail an girlfriend @ the time telling her I had an STD aka "THAT SHIT!" I asked this female why did she do that and the hoe said "If I can't have you...NO ONE WILL!" Nigga's with kids.....watch yourself. You too can be a victim of "I didn't sign up for this shit" baggage. Baby momma's are a hand full but it's hard tryna keep them happy and have a healthy relationship with your girl. It's hard to balance both but @ the end of the day remember you will have drama with your baby momma/daddy regardless WHO you are with. So keep it moving and take care of your seed.
Doctor K is in with some womanly perspective... Here's something for everyone to ponder, male & female alike.
Aight so seriously ladies let's take some pride in ourselves here... STOP GOING THROUGH YOUR MAN'S SHIT!!! Obviously you're looking for something you want to be there, in which case, why the fuck are you wasting your time on his lame ass??? And, if you wanna be trifling and all up in your man's grill, do not bring other women into it. Other people do not need to be involved in your relationship. If you feel like you can't get an honest answer out of your man, why the fuck are you wasting your time on his lying ass??? If you feel like you need drama in your life, watch a soap opera and mind your own damn business. There's the flip side too, bc I'm not even gonna put this all on men--if your ass is paranoid that your man is creeping on you, could it be because your trifling ass is doing the same thing? It's a thing we psych people like to call PROJECTION--your paranoia is a manifestation of your own cheating ways. Oh, yes. So stop fronting like every girl in your man's phone is the reason why your relationship has problems. Handle that shit within your own relationship and keep everyone else out of it!
You do not need to be using another woman's phone number if: 1. She did not give you her phone number 2. She does not know your name 3. You got it from your man's phone
Oh and you especially do not need to be wasting up anyone's text messages on some bullshit. If you're going to be bold enough to go through your man's phone, delete a text message, and then use the phone number, then actually DIAL it.
Guys, you are not going to get off on this one either. If you feel the need to play the field and test the waters, STOP CALLING HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!! Ol' girl is stressing because she can't control the one thing that supposedly belongs to her. What kind of sense does it make to call somebody your lady if you want to fuck everyone and anyone else??? Do you really want every other female in your phone to have the potential to be harassed by your "girl" and think you don't have your shit on point? And how are you gonna let this chick get all up in your personal space like that? Trust is one thing, but straight up privacy violation is another. Be a man, draw the line. And stop tryna have your cake and it eat it too. Also, stop being cowardly!!! If you don't want to be with her anymore, but you're scared of how her psycho ass is going to react, break up with her anyway! So what if she breaks your windshield or slashes your tires... You can fix those. Time is money, and spending more time with a psycho phone girl does nothing good for you.
If its one thing i've learned in life, its this: surround yourself with those you strive to be like. I hear alot of people talkin about "man, i wanna do this and i'm tryin to do that", but when you look at who they hang around, you can see WHY they aren't doing "this or that". You know why rich people hang around other rich people? Because they can tell each other how to get rich. You can't get money hangin around broke niggaz all the time. The only thing a broke person can tell you what to do with money is spend it. If you wanna learn how to hustle real estate, hang around people who are doing well in that field, not your homeboy who THINKS he knows whats goin on and lives in his moms basment. If you want to be motivated to do things and get yours, then surround yourself with people who are doing the same exact thing. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with havin "slackers" in your squad because thats who i have the most fun with when i wanna relax, but when its time for business, i hang around business minded people. You need to learn the difference. The reason why alot of crews and so forth fall off is because only one person is actually business minded while the others are there just for the perks. Shit, look at 50.
I agree with LEX. When you put your self around nigga's/female's that ain't about shit.....99.8% of the time you won't be about shit either. Everyone has that "one" person that doesn't have goals and any desire to do anything with their life. My best thing to tell you is to either motivate that person or leave them as they are. Chances are you'll be @ home getting dressed all up to play Street Fighter 4 all day and eating Cheetos!
So remember when you with nigga's that don't want anything in life.....they don't wait you with anything in life either.
:) I'm RiRi, I'll be here to guide you females in any questions/advice you need. I'll be real and blunt about the shit. You don't like it, go suck a left nut. Take my advice, cause I'm wise. Express your mind, let your emotions free, rep that pussy power. Hollur!
1) Preezy...I got a question...if I pay for dinners and movie for a woman, doesn't she owe me some pussy?
This is the BEST QUESTION you have ever asked me. Now let me ask you a question: Initially did you approach the woman, or did she approach you? 99 percent of the time, women will NOT approach men especially if they are attractive. This means that you SOLICITED HER! If a woman gives you her time, she does NOT OWE YOU ANY PUSSY! Remember, good looking women get talked to between the averages of 5-10 times a day (ugly bitches get talked to once every 190,000 years)! Women have no problem with letting unattractive men take them out to the movies, dinner, and....take them RIGHT THE FUCK BACK HOME! All men get used at some point because women know we are interested in them. If they don't want to give you any, just keep it respectful and find another WOMAN you fucking idiot!
2) Another question ....Is it wrong for me to forcibly rape a woman that I have had sex with before?
Another controversial question....I personally know men who have "gimmie that'd" their girlfriends, wives, or women they have slept with before just because they have had consensual sex with them in the past. This is not the Caveman Era where you can go around knocking bitches in the head and dragging them by their hair! As much as I dislike hoes, women do have RIGHTS.If a woman wants to fuck you, cool...fuck her! If she wants to leave you alone, take it like a man and get ANOTHER WOMAN!
Also...even if your married, you should never rape your wife,girlfriend, (mother or stepmother), or any woman. You have NO FUCKING EXCUSE! Just go on myspace and get some freaky bitches like I use to.
3) AYOOOOOOO....there is a sexy ass 16 year old that wants to give me some pussy...should I do it?
You should never fuck any young girl who thinks CNN is a rap group you ass hole! Leave the fucking of little kids to R.Kelly and Michael Jackson! I know you have heard of a little thing called statutory rape haven't you? In the hood, they use to always say:"16 will get you 20" (translation for our white readers courtesy of www.helpaslowniggaout.com "Having sexual intercourse with a sixteen year old is likely to get you 20 years in prison.") So many guys are fucking underage women its a shame. I ain't gonna lie...some of these young females got asses that look like 32 inch TV screens! However, I prefer you to do this..."HANGOUT AT HIGH
SCHOOL GRADUATIONS IN JUNE"
4)I met this chick and we started fucking...but while were fucking, she wanted to stop...if I keep going, is that wrong?
I am so sorry that your fucking with indecisive bitches off of adultfriendfinder.com! Even though you met her 23 minutes ago, she forgot that she had a boyfriend in Iraq while you were hitting it right? Now she feels bad about it, and she wants to stop! You on swole and you still want to fuck right? Maybe stop means go still huh? Contrary to popular belief, stop means STOP NIGGA! You can also go to jail for this KIND OF RAPE! I have had this happen to me before....and of course I was pissed. However, I quickly ran in the kitchen, shot nut all over her kool-aid jug, and never spoke to her again and then fucked her cousin the next week!
Maybe you should do the same!
Men..you must respect the rights of women! You may not always think highly of them, but you should NEVER rape a woman. Would you want a nigga raping your mother or sister? Show the same respect to these women!
*Doc Lex Second Opinion*
Yes, NEVER strong arm a female for some ass. If you "Strong Arm" a female, more than likely you will meet the "Long Arm" aka "The Laws, Bo Brown, William T. Hater, The Peoples, 5-0 or whatever the fuck niggaz are callin the Cops nowadays". Now, there ARE times where monetary compensation should be legal, meaning, if she SAYS she's gonna give you the drawls and then you drive 35 miles to "Slang Angus" and she decides no at the last minute and has you drive back, thats should be an automatic $8 on the tank.
But there are also other things that are just as bad as "Strong Armin'" a female, like what i refer to as the "Nike ACG Plan" which is basically: if you drive her to so many places and burn up so much gas and she just wants to go home, you then relate to her "Ass, Cash, or Gas. If not, put your feet to the concrete and Just Do It". i'm not gonna name any names but SOMEBODY left a female 25 miles from home because she decided not to smash. Filthy. People, just because you don't smash THIS time does NOT mean you won't get the drawls the next go round. Be patient.
DOC PREEZY, So for the last few days there's been a lot of commotion and activity around me, some I was a part of (good), some I was just witnessing (not-so-good), and somehow I have a feeling that a lot is headed my way (good to me, not-so-good for others, all in perspective), so I decided to stop and try to put one of my 'Preezy-Takes-On' Blogs. The one where I pontificate and provide a little of my sage advice as “the nigga who's taken the test and failed”, so it's easy to come back and pass it. I'm good because I've been bad before. Do you know what the Feds do when they catch nigga's/ white people who successfully pull of high-difficulty hacks? The really good guys? They offer them prison, or jobs. Think of me as that dude.
Upon careful consideration, I have decided that I know the exact moment that someone should leave in a marriage. I'm going to discuss marriage as opposed to a relationship, because relationships have much more in the way of options to separate. Their may be a few material considerations, maybe a dog, but marriages usually have kids involved. Well, kids make every situation more serious, TRUST ME....I know.... but kids don't automatically mean “I'm stuck nigga!!!”. Most kids would rather be from a broken home than have to live in one. Children mean that you really do have to be able to say certain things with a clear conscience, because they can hold you accountable in ways that your best friend or even your parents can't. The person that you need or choose to walk away from, they won't have that option. Well, they could try, but they'll have to make that choice themselves. You can't make it for them. You have to be careful, because that's their mommy or daddy. Don't get caught out trying to change a child's mind about a parent. But anyway, there is a moment that you will know it's time to walk.
Most people who go into divorce are simply not ready for the shit.I haven't been thru one of these yet...and hopefully never but I'm sure it's something that you can't prepare for, because every one is different. We all deserve to be happy. If you have someone who is in your life that is just an emotional black hole of Misery, sucking all the joy you have out of you and into them, you should really question what it is about that person you need? But when do you say “Okay, this is it”?
You do it when you are not angry. When you can look at the situation with objectivity, you're not crying, when it doesn't hurt, and you're just like: “*Sigh...* What THE FUCK are we doing? What THE FUCK are you doing? It's obvious you don't love me. I really feel as though if I'm being honest, I don't love you either. Don't you want to be happy? I do. We've cried, fought, screamed, yelled, and we are in the same place we've always been. I don't have anything left.” When you've done counseling, you've talked to your pastor, rabbi, imam, whatever, you've talked to his or her Mom, your nigga, you've sacrificed a goat... when you have simply turned over every rock you could find in pursuit of a solution and you are drained, you can look your child in the eye and not say “I was just pissed and I walked away.” It is time. As long as you don't have to tell that child “I lost my head for a moment and said something I didn't mean, and that's why you've had to be without your mommy/daddy for 10 years...” or whatever. When you are not nearly emotional and you are completely objective, that's when you close the door. How long will it take? It's kind of like the Supreme Court ruling on pornography, “You'll know it when you see it.” If it takes you 12 times to pull him out of some random hoe's apartment, it takes YOU 12 times, but when it comes time to pull the trigger (the metaphorical, not literal, people), squeeze slow and smooth, on the exhale, and let it fly to the bull's eye. Second chances are not “second-chances” on the 8th time, 9th time, 10th time. You have what you have. If you don't want it, don't keep it. It simply is what the fuck it is.
I think that fat ass nigga Dr. Phil said “You have to earn your way out of a marriage.” That's real talk. I know a guy right now that's known a chick for 11 days and is considering marriage... in two weeks. He SHOULD earn his way out of doing something so colossally stupid. Once you're in, you don't get to walk out. So do all you can, but when you've done it, love yourself, because you know by that point that the person sitting across from you is just not capable.
*Doc Lex Second Opinion*
I would also have to agree with Pat on this ESPECIALLY when it comes to kids. Alot of young people who get pregnant at a young age try to do the "right thing" and get married because of the kid when its actually the "wrong thing" to do.
If you don't have love for that person to begin with, more than likely you won't have any real love for that person in the long run and you are bascially delaying the inevitable. Its kinda like in science and physics and shit. when you "force" something, it creates "tension" which in turn creates "pressure" and after enought "pressure" is built up, shit begins to break and explode. When you try to force something like love, it creates tension between the two of you and you all are pressuring each other to make the shit work and all thats gonna do is blow up, not only in your face, but in your seeds face too. You don't have to be living in the house with you child to be a good parent or role model, you just have to be "there" for them because alot of times, kids are living IN broken homes where the parents are together in the same crib, but they are creating a hostile environment. The best thing for you to do is talk to each other and be "grown" about the shit and be realistic because the shit is no longer about you two anymore. If one wants to leave, let them go because they are gonna find some way to leave, one way or the other. and like they say "if you LOVE something, let that shit go".
Throughout my life, i've heard alot of bullshit come out of peoples mouths but the most pathetic shit has to come from people with low self esteem. I work with a bunch of females who complain about the guys they are with but don't want to leave them because they feel "nobody will want me". well, guess what? you are co-fuckin-rrect about that shit. The reason nobody will want you is because you don't even want yourself. If you don't like you, then how the FUCK am I or any other man supposed to? Like the old saying goes, "If you knew better, you'd do better", and its appearent that alot of yall don't know any better because if yall DID, yall wouldn't be in the fucked up situations yall are and fuckin with "aint shit" individuals. And more than likely, if you don't watch yourself, a pimp may fuck around and feed off that shit and have you suckin dick, doin' something "strange for some change" and/or making ya "holla for a dolla". So in the end, if you don't want to be lonely, be friends with yourself first because if you can't put up with yourself, don't expect a nigga like me, Pat or any other REAL nigga to.
*BEFORE YOU READ...ALL WOMEN ARE NOT BITCHES AND HOES....but some are!*
I know your wondering "HOW CAN I BE LIKE PREEZY AND LAY PIPE?"
I am glad you asked that question you Lebron James head band wearing ass nigga! Not only am I a great person, I have all the game to get you bitch ass nigga's some more pussy. It has took me years and years to perfect this game and I am giving it to you for free! Aren't you tired of going to the club and getting fake numbers? Are you tired of having to spend your money on fine ass bitches just to get them to come over and watch a bootleg DVD? Well this blog is for you nigga. I have 6 simple rules that will help you increase your pussy rate by 55.6 percent in the next 2 weeks! Without further or due, let the recitation of this chapter begin.
1) Fellas...understand this: EVERY WOMAN WILL NOT WANT YOU!
I have said this before...and nigga's...I will say it again! EVERY WOMAN THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WILL NOT WANT YOU IN THAT FASHION! As much as I would like to think that I am the flyest nigga in the 773 area code, there are some women who just are not attracted to me. Some women like only light skinned men, white men, only tall men,muscular men, or whatever the case. YOU WILL NOT ALWAYS BE THEIR TYPE! Rejection from women will happen and I don't care who you are! NFL ATHLETES get rejected by regular women all the time! Do not get pissed if a woman you are interested in doesn't want you. That is just how the game works. There are plenty of women out here who will let you hit it doggy so stop tripping off that bitch and keep it moving to the next one.DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...WOMEN HAVE THEIR RIGHT to choose who they want to fuck with.
2) STOP TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF TO WOMEN
I hate to see dudes at the club or in the street trying to "holla" at a female and the first thing they say is: "GIRL YOU NEED TO COME FUCK WITH A REAL NIGGA LIKE ME!"That was a good line nigga. Please visit yourself at: www.dumbassniggaswithnogame.org Nigga's understand this: EVERY NIGGA SAYS THIS KIND OF SHIT TO WOMEN! I hate when these broke ass low self esteem nigga's try to talk to women like they all that but knowing that they work at Jiffy Lube and sell weed on the side at they Uncle Johnny house. It doesn't make you look tight when you say this stuff to women...it makes you look very weak to a woman. Never approach a woman talking about how you can take care of her, and how you can do this or that for her. Because you know what? You are putting yourself out there to get used!!! A smart woman is going to let you prove how manly you are and use you for some money, dinner, and everything else and you still wont fuck! Stop trying to brag to women about what you got going on, when your album is coming out, how much money you got, and the rest of this shit. The point is: THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK! Always know that a attractive woman gets offers from better looking niggas with more money than you EVERYDAY! This is where you dare to be different! Learn how to keep a casual conversation and listen to the chick tell you all about herself! Remember: she didn't approach you to get to know you...you approached her to get to know her! It should be ALL ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW HER and not about YOUR Popeye the sailor man looking ass!
3) NEVER.....ever....GET JEALOUS OR SHOW EMOTION TO THESE WOMEN....EVER!
A man can never afford to get jealous or show anger towards a chick. Never get mad if a female doesn't call you back, return a text message, or breaks a date. Lets say you met a chick and y'all supposed to kick it right? You called the chick to say you're on your way, but the bitch ain't answering the phone. You call back a hour later, and the bitch stillllllllllllllll ain't answering right? What do you do? Well...most of you nigga's might leave the bitch a dirty voicemail and call her all types of tramps and bitches or say some shit about how foul she is for not answering right? NO MAN NO! Don't get mad! Don't even mention it at all! Women are and will always be flaky! They are notorious for changing their minds at the last minute on bitch ass nigga's like you! You should expect women to do shit like this especially young bitches. Women want nothing more than to know that a nigga is tripping off them! Once you start tripping, they have the control, and they don't want you anymore.
Just play it off, don't even trip, and when the chick call you back, DON'T ANSWER! Call her back in a couple of days and be like: "HEY HOW YOU DOING?" Act all cheerful and excited about life because you should always be like that. Never let a female change your attitude or mood EVER! She will be tripping the fuck out about why you not asking her about the missed date since all the other nigga's she fuck with bitch and moan and complain. This will make her want to suck your dick and fuck you even more!
4) Always listen to women but never give advice and never criticize them or their man
Some hoes out there will still fuck you even though they got a man. Most of them will, they just wont admit it with they nasty asses. NEVER CRITICIZE A WOMAN'S BOYFRIEND OR ANY NIGGA SHE FUCKING PERIOD! A lot of nigga's think they are being a man when they are making themselves look better than the other dude by saying shit like: "Aww girl you need to stop fucking with him and come fuck with me cuz he aint doing you right."
WRONG ANSWER DICK HEAD!
Again...females hear this same shit everyday...you are NOT SPECIAL! Always listen to women...but never give advice or criticize.Women love to bitch about their personal problems and shit...let them. When you give women advice or criticize them or their situations, you are being THEIR FRIEND! THIS IS HOW YOU GET IN THE "FRIEND ZONE" *Note....this is not a sneak diss to you know who..it's just true* Now you know why you haven't been getting no pussy huh? Let their female friends give advice and you just listen to the chick! Say things like: "OH YEAH...HMMMM...O I SEE" and shit like that. NEVER GIVE YOUR OPINION UNTIL AFTER YOU FUCK!
5) Never argue with bitches or tell them off
Ok...so a bitch does you shady. You don't want to fuck with her no more but you feel you got to tell the bitch off and call her all types of bitches and shit right? DUMB ASS NIGGA...DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME! I cuss bitches out on the blogs because its entertainment! But you are seriously wasting your time. When you spend time yelling and cursing at bitches, you are showing them that you care about them and you let shit bother you! The whole time you telling the bitch off, she laughing at your ass because she making you look stupid! Learn how to delete a bitch number or block a bitch from your myspace/facebook REAL QUICK! Don't give a fuck about these hoes if you are not interested. They will come back eventually like they always do and you'll still be able to fuck them when they do.
6) Never talk to "young minded chicks w no goals", virgins, born again virgins, abstinent, or any type of shit like that.
You cannot afford to waste your time fucking with chicks who got problems or issues. Young bitches are so immature, its a shame. I must admit...I do like how young bitches suck and fuck on tube8.com and shit, but other than that, I suggest you not fuck with them. Young bitches are usually only good for being text message buddies or AOL Instant messaging lol. Don't you get tired of calling a young female and she steadily singing Lil Wayne songs in the background while you on the phone with the bitch? Young females get jocked a lot by young and old niggas...so understand the competition is fierce. Young hoes play a lot of games and they are always the hardest to fuck! They have a false sense of reality and they think they are the shit. I suggest all men regardless of what age, fuck with smarter women 25 years older and up.These females are horny, and they looking for a dick to suck and bounce on. You don't have to worry about an older woman stalking you like a young bitch will.
Also...virgins, born again virgins, and bitches like that, please keep it moving on these hoes! You are not special: STOP THINKING YOU CAN CHANGE THE BITCH MIND! If a girl say she a virgin, don't stick around and hope that she will let you fuck.
There are many more rules than this...but I am giving you a head start! If I get the response a good response to this chapter, I will post up 6 more advanced techniques to help you nigga's stop having that ashy ass dick syndrome and get some pussy.
This was the slogan that many people lived by in my Rogers Park neighborhood in Chicago when I was growing up. Too bad I did more walking than talking with my broke ass when I was younger. A nigga barely had enough money to pay his oxygen bill and that shit was free! Grandma wasn't giving a nigga no pocket change as a young teenager at ALL! All I had was a dusty Bulls starter jacket and some beat up Grant Hill Fila's with some duct tape on the bottom! If the gang members didn't get you, the cock roaches sure in the fuck would! It's true what they say about the ghetto: "ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE!" Most niggas in my neighborhood would do ANYTHING just to get some status or make money.
People would steal, kill, or do whatever they had to do just to be the top dog! Gang members, drug dealers, thieves, and crackheads were the main characters in my childhood coming up. Hell....I couldn't even walk to school in the morning without the neighborhood crackhead Mary Ann trying to wave me down. She would often say "HEY LITTLE NIGGA....I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK FOR HALF OF YOUR LUNCH MONEY!" No wonder why I was always late for class and always hungry at school! Success in the ghetto was measured by how fast you were, how good you could fight, the amount of money you had, the type of car you had, and how many women you had. Being smart or intelligent wasn't the thing to be growing up where I lived. In middle school, gang member's threw rocks at me just for doing my time tables homework on the way home from school. In high school, all the nerds got their ass kicked in my neighborhood and threw in the trashcan so that everyone could make fun of them. Even the girls at my high school liked the dudes with all the money. Gettin good grades in High School wasn't enough to keep the attention of my first love Jessica.
She left me for a dope dealer with a brand new Jeep I cant be mad at her though because she let me down easy by saying: "Patrick...I'm tired of riding on the CTA" Damn....I WAS HURT! I was able to get over her in less than a week. So much has changed since ten years ago. However, the theoretical question still exists: "What Can Money Really Buy?" In order to find the solution to this question,I was able to successfully kidnap three famous people and run a series of tests based on their DNA and behavioral patterns. Without further or due, let me share my statistical findings as I begin the recitation of this blog.
1) "Preezy....can money buy a person common sense?"
Good question reader....I couldn't have asked a better one myself. Lets look @ Brittney Spears. At one time Brittney, you topped the charts as one of the hottest Pop singers of recent years. Besides Barbie, you were what all little white girls wanted to grow up to be: "A NO TALENT WHITE CHICK WHO COULDN'T SING!" She made over 6 million dollars a month. Wow Brittney...you are doing very well for yourself. You have bought cars, homes, and all the luxuries that money can buy. However, there is one thing you forgot to buy: "COMMON SENSE." Sorry...you wont be able to use your Paypal account to buy Common Sense on Ebay. They don't sell it there anymore! Your first marriage to Jason Allen in 2004 lasted all but 55 hours. To make things worse, you married a white Vanilla Ice looking thug-a-boo/ back up dancer named Kevin Federline who didn't even have a GED! We wont even mention that you lost your kids in a custody battle to a dude who could barely read a coloring book. You also got charged with a hit and run (driving without a license), substance abuse, and other retarded shit that I care not to mention.
It is safe to say with 99 percent accuracy that money does not buy one COMMON SENSE!
2) "Yo Pat...Can Money Buy Love?"
Lets take former 2 time Heavyweight Champion of the World, Mike Tyson. He is the ONLY nigga in the history of the IRS who could put on his W-2 Tax Form for occupation: "I knock niggas out for a living!" MAN...did he ever! Not only were he a knock out in the ring, he was a knock out as a superstar PERIOD! Women used to look at him as a sex symbol back when has was the champ. Those were the good old days huh Mike? Now he's just an ugly broke ass,fat ass nigga with a fucked up tattoo on his face. He made a WHOPPING 300 MILLION DOLLARS as a Fighter! He even bought exotic Lions and Tigers to your Connecticut Mansion(now owned by 50 cent). Now his broke ass can barely afford Animal Crackers at Walgreens. He tried buying love from women all the time. Remember Robin Givens? Damn Mike....she sure was fine and expensive too.His marriage only lasted 6 months to the bitch but she took him for over 40 million dollars. He could have seriously rented a big booty bitch for 600 bucks a week off Craigslist! We wont mention the fact that he got convicted of rape in 1992! Why? He came back and won the title and I respect that.(Like that had anything to do with the case)
He thought money could buy him love from your friends, women, and family. Now he's lonely and smoking crack in Arizona behind a cactus.It is safe to say that money cannot buy one love!
3) "Ayo "Swag Pitt (yes a new nickname)....Can Money Buy Loyalty?"
Let's take former NFL Quarterback Michael Vick. Let me first say how great you look in your uniform Michael. I'm used to seeing you in Falcons Black and Red...but the bright orange prison jumpsuit looks rather well on you.OOF!!!! Back in the early years of football, many white coaches said that black men were just too stupid to play Quarterback in the NFL. Thank you Michael Vick for proving them right. You were a first round pick in the 2001 Draft. Besides throwing Herpes around to black women in the Atlanta Metropolitan Area under your alias Ron Mexico, you were also pretty good at throwing deep passes to your Wide Receivers. Your electrifying runs and speed made you an super human figure in the National Football League. I always wondered why you were so damn fast and quick. Then it dawned on me: "ANY NIGGA PISSING OFF PITBULLS ALL HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY FUCKING FAST!" Nevermind the fact that you had Hundreds of Millions of Dollars in endorsements and contracts. You threw it all away to....to....FIGHT DOGS? WOWOWOWOWOWOW! Because of you Mr. Vick, Petco refuses to sell Purina Dog Food to Black Men between the ages of 18-35! You were good at handling pressure from defensive ends*WHOA* and linebackers while playing Quarterback. It's just toobad your homies couldn't handle the pressure from the FBI Agents when they questioned them! All your friends who you THOUGHT were your boys, SOLD YOU OUT as you took the fall for your dumb behavior!
I guess you thought money could buy loyalty huh?
I hear you're making 13 cents an hour making license plates for the State of Virginia , the Atlanta Falcons made the playoffs this year WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR!It's safe to say that money DOES NOT BUY LOYALTY!
Money doesn't buy anything important...it may buy materialistic shit...but it can't buy a person ALL what they really need in life to be whole. Stop worrying about getting your shine on and learn to appreciate what you ALREADY HAVE!
I have been waiting for shit for all my life. I had to wait until 16 to get a drivers license, 18 to go to the strip club, 21 to go to drink alcohol and 35 YEARS OLD TO BE THE PRESIDENT!
Those things I have to wait on. Waiting on PUSSY HOWEVER IS ANOTHER FUCKING STORY! A lot of women are trying to make men wait these days in order to get some pussy. I'm sorry females...but the Jim Crow laws got destroyed in the 1960's! No longer can you make black men wait for anything. It's within my constitutional rights (123rd amendment protecting niggas and their free will to avoid waiting). It is not just black men....ITS ALL MEN! WHITE, BLACK, HISPANIC, AND ALL MEN ARE TIRED OF WAITING TO FUCK! But the fundamental question is this men: "Should you wait to have sex with a woman that you really care about?" Preezy will tell you why I would never let a Bitch
make me wait to get no pussy. Without further or
due, I begin this recitation of this blog.
1) Patrick... I am a woman and I am not a whore...you have to wait atleast 6 months before you can hit this! You have to prove yourself to me.
First of all bitch lets get something straight; 6 months is a long fucking time. I might get shot tomorrow. I need a woman who knows what she wants. What should she want? She should want to FUCK ME! I know I'm not a ugly dude. I don't have to prove anything to you. The last nigga you fucked couldn't even read.
Women love to set time tables on men when it comes to sex don't they? Never let a woman tell you anything like this at ALL! If you stick around a woman for 6 months and you don't fuck her, she wont even respect you. She will then go out and fuck a no good nigga (like me before I got in a relationship) in the first week while your sitting there respecting the bitch. It's happened to me before...Please don't do it.
2) Yo Preezy...I really love my girlfriend and we want to wait to get married. Am I a dumb ass for that?
Do Fat Men have titties? Of course they do. Therefore you are stupid! Grandma use to always say: "Never buy a car you haven't test driven!" Would you go toa car lot and buy a new car that you haven't seen the motor? I didn't think so. That's the fastest way to get stuck with a car payment with a non running car while catching the bus in the rain just so you can go to work. What if you wait and then you find out your girl's pussy is as wide as NBA basketball rim? You might fall all the way IN and then you'll be pissed. What if her pussy smells like the Cook County Sanitation Department? Now you married a bitch who will get half your money if you divorce her who pussy lips smell like 19 day old Pastrami! FUCK THAT! Don't fuck yourself!
You have to fuck her first before you seal your WOEFUL FATE IN LIFE!