"Money Talks and BULL SHIT WALKS!"
This was the slogan that many people lived by in my Rogers Park neighborhood in Chicago when I was growing up. Too bad I did more walking than talking with my broke ass when I was younger. A nigga barely had enough money to pay his oxygen bill and that shit was free! Grandma wasn't giving a nigga no pocket change as a young teenager at ALL! All I had was a dusty Bulls starter jacket and some beat up Grant Hill Fila's with some duct tape on the bottom! If the gang members didn't get you, the cock roaches sure in the fuck would! It's true what they say about the ghetto: "ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE!" Most niggas in my neighborhood would do ANYTHING just to get some status or make money.
People would steal, kill, or do whatever they had to do just to be the top dog! Gang members, drug dealers, thieves, and crackheads were the main characters in my childhood coming up. Hell....I couldn't even walk to school in the morning without
the neighborhood crackhead Mary Ann trying to wave me down. She would often say "HEY LITTLE NIGGA....I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK FOR HALF OF YOUR LUNCH MONEY!" No wonder why I was always late for class and always hungry at school! Success in the ghetto was measured by how fast you were, how good you could fight, the amount of money you had, the type of car you had, and how many women you had. Being smart or intelligent wasn't the thing to be growing up where I lived. In middle school, gang member's threw rocks at me just for doing my time tables homework on the way home from school. In high school, all the nerds got their ass kicked in my neighborhood and threw in the trashcan so that everyone could make fun of them. Even the girls at my high school liked the dudes with all the money. Gettin good grades in High School wasn't
enough to keep the attention of my first love Jessica.
She left me for a dope dealer with a brand new Jeep I cant be mad at her though because she let me down easy by saying: "Patrick...I'm tired of riding on the CTA" Damn....I WAS HURT! I was able to get over her in less than a week. So much has changed since ten years ago. However, the theoretical question still exists: "What Can Money Really Buy?" In order to find the solution to this question,I was able to successfully kidnap three famous people and run a series of tests based on their DNA and behavioral patterns. Without further or due, let me share my statistical findings as I begin the recitation of this blog.
1) "Preezy....can money buy a person common sense?"
Good question reader....I couldn't have asked a better one myself. Lets look @ Brittney Spears. At one time Brittney, you topped the charts as one of the hottest Pop singers of recent years. Besides Barbie, you were what all little white girls wanted to grow up to be: "A NO TALENT WHITE CHICK WHO COULDN'T SING!" She made over 6 million dollars a
month. Wow Brittney...you are doing very well for yourself. You have bought cars, homes, and all the luxuries that money can buy. However, there is one thing you forgot to buy: "COMMON SENSE." Sorry...you wont be able to use your Paypal account to buy Common Sense on Ebay. They don't sell it there anymore! Your first marriage to Jason Allen in 2004 lasted all but 55 hours. To make things worse, you married a white Vanilla Ice looking thug-a-boo/ back up dancer named Kevin Federline who didn't even have a GED! We wont even mention that you lost your kids in a custody battle to a dude
who could barely read a coloring book. You also got charged with a hit and run (driving without a license), substance abuse, and other retarded shit that I care not to mention.
It is safe to say with 99 percent accuracy that money does not buy one COMMON SENSE!
2) "Yo Pat...Can Money Buy Love?"
Lets take former 2 time Heavyweight Champion of the World, Mike Tyson. He is the ONLY nigga in the history of the IRS who could put on his W-2 Tax Form for occupation: "I knock niggas out for a living!" MAN...did he ever! Not only were he a knock out in the ring, he was a knock out as a superstar PERIOD! Women used to look at him as a sex symbol back when has was the champ. Those were the good old days huh Mike? Now he's just an ugly broke ass,fat ass nigga with a fucked up tattoo on his face. He made a WHOPPING 300 MILLION DOLLARS as a Fighter! He even bought exotic Lions and Tigers to your Connecticut Mansion(now owned by 50 cent). Now his broke ass can barely afford Animal Crackers at Walgreens. He tried buying love from women all the time. Remember Robin Givens? Damn Mike....she sure was fine and expensive too.His marriage only lasted 6 months to the bitch but she took him for over 40 million dollars. He could have seriously rented a big booty bitch for 600 bucks a week off Craigslist! We wont mention the fact that he got convicted of rape in 1992! Why? He came back and won the title and I respect that.(Like that had anything to do with the case)
He thought money could buy him love from your friends, women, and family. Now he's lonely and smoking crack in Arizona behind a cactus.It is safe to say that money cannot buy one love!
3) "Ayo "Swag Pitt (yes a new nickname)....Can Money Buy Loyalty?"
Let's take former NFL Quarterback Michael Vick. Let me first say how great you look in your uniform Michael. I'm used to seeing you in Falcons Black and Red...but the bright orange prison jumpsuit looks rather well on you.OOF!!!! Back in the early years of football, many white coaches said that black men were just too stupid to play Quarterback in the NFL. Thank you Michael Vick for proving them right. You were a first round pick in the 2001 Draft. Besides throwing Herpes around to black women in the Atlanta Metropolitan Area under your alias Ron Mexico, you were also pretty good at throwing deep passes to your Wide Receivers. Your electrifying runs and speed made you an super human figure in the National Football League. I always wondered why you were so damn fast and quick. Then it dawned on me: "ANY NIGGA PISSING OFF PITBULLS ALL HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY FUCKING FAST!" Nevermind the fact that you had Hundreds of Millions of Dollars in endorsements and contracts. You threw it all away to....to....FIGHT DOGS? WOWOWOWOWOWOW! Because of you Mr. Vick, Petco refuses to sell Purina Dog Food to Black Men between the ages of 18-35! You were good at
handling pressure from defensive ends*WHOA* and linebackers while playing Quarterback. It's just toobad your homies couldn't handle the pressure from the FBI Agents when they questioned them! All your friends who you THOUGHT were your boys, SOLD YOU OUT as you took the fall for your dumb behavior!
I guess you thought money could buy loyalty huh?
I hear you're making 13 cents an hour making license plates for the State of Virginia , the Atlanta Falcons made the playoffs this year WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR!It's safe to say that money DOES NOT BUY LOYALTY!
Conclusion:
Money doesn't buy anything important...it may buy materialistic shit...but it can't buy a person ALL what they really need in life to be whole. Stop worrying about getting your shine on and learn to appreciate what you ALREADY HAVE!
This was the slogan that many people lived by in my Rogers Park neighborhood in Chicago when I was growing up. Too bad I did more walking than talking with my broke ass when I was younger. A nigga barely had enough money to pay his oxygen bill and that shit was free! Grandma wasn't giving a nigga no pocket change as a young teenager at ALL! All I had was a dusty Bulls starter jacket and some beat up Grant Hill Fila's with some duct tape on the bottom! If the gang members didn't get you, the cock roaches sure in the fuck would! It's true what they say about the ghetto: "ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE!" Most niggas in my neighborhood would do ANYTHING just to get some status or make money.
People would steal, kill, or do whatever they had to do just to be the top dog! Gang members, drug dealers, thieves, and crackheads were the main characters in my childhood coming up. Hell....I couldn't even walk to school in the morning without
the neighborhood crackhead Mary Ann trying to wave me down. She would often say "HEY LITTLE NIGGA....I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK FOR HALF OF YOUR LUNCH MONEY!" No wonder why I was always late for class and always hungry at school! Success in the ghetto was measured by how fast you were, how good you could fight, the amount of money you had, the type of car you had, and how many women you had. Being smart or intelligent wasn't the thing to be growing up where I lived. In middle school, gang member's threw rocks at me just for doing my time tables homework on the way home from school. In high school, all the nerds got their ass kicked in my neighborhood and threw in the trashcan so that everyone could make fun of them. Even the girls at my high school liked the dudes with all the money. Gettin good grades in High School wasn't
enough to keep the attention of my first love Jessica.
She left me for a dope dealer with a brand new Jeep I cant be mad at her though because she let me down easy by saying: "Patrick...I'm tired of riding on the CTA" Damn....I WAS HURT! I was able to get over her in less than a week. So much has changed since ten years ago. However, the theoretical question still exists: "What Can Money Really Buy?" In order to find the solution to this question,I was able to successfully kidnap three famous people and run a series of tests based on their DNA and behavioral patterns. Without further or due, let me share my statistical findings as I begin the recitation of this blog.
1) "Preezy....can money buy a person common sense?"
Good question reader....I couldn't have asked a better one myself. Lets look @ Brittney Spears. At one time Brittney, you topped the charts as one of the hottest Pop singers of recent years. Besides Barbie, you were what all little white girls wanted to grow up to be: "A NO TALENT WHITE CHICK WHO COULDN'T SING!" She made over 6 million dollars a
month. Wow Brittney...you are doing very well for yourself. You have bought cars, homes, and all the luxuries that money can buy. However, there is one thing you forgot to buy: "COMMON SENSE." Sorry...you wont be able to use your Paypal account to buy Common Sense on Ebay. They don't sell it there anymore! Your first marriage to Jason Allen in 2004 lasted all but 55 hours. To make things worse, you married a white Vanilla Ice looking thug-a-boo/ back up dancer named Kevin Federline who didn't even have a GED! We wont even mention that you lost your kids in a custody battle to a dude
who could barely read a coloring book. You also got charged with a hit and run (driving without a license), substance abuse, and other retarded shit that I care not to mention.
It is safe to say with 99 percent accuracy that money does not buy one COMMON SENSE!
2) "Yo Pat...Can Money Buy Love?"
Lets take former 2 time Heavyweight Champion of the World, Mike Tyson. He is the ONLY nigga in the history of the IRS who could put on his W-2 Tax Form for occupation: "I knock niggas out for a living!" MAN...did he ever! Not only were he a knock out in the ring, he was a knock out as a superstar PERIOD! Women used to look at him as a sex symbol back when has was the champ. Those were the good old days huh Mike? Now he's just an ugly broke ass,fat ass nigga with a fucked up tattoo on his face. He made a WHOPPING 300 MILLION DOLLARS as a Fighter! He even bought exotic Lions and Tigers to your Connecticut Mansion(now owned by 50 cent). Now his broke ass can barely afford Animal Crackers at Walgreens. He tried buying love from women all the time. Remember Robin Givens? Damn Mike....she sure was fine and expensive too.His marriage only lasted 6 months to the bitch but she took him for over 40 million dollars. He could have seriously rented a big booty bitch for 600 bucks a week off Craigslist! We wont mention the fact that he got convicted of rape in 1992! Why? He came back and won the title and I respect that.(Like that had anything to do with the case)
He thought money could buy him love from your friends, women, and family. Now he's lonely and smoking crack in Arizona behind a cactus.It is safe to say that money cannot buy one love!
3) "Ayo "Swag Pitt (yes a new nickname)....Can Money Buy Loyalty?"
Let's take former NFL Quarterback Michael Vick. Let me first say how great you look in your uniform Michael. I'm used to seeing you in Falcons Black and Red...but the bright orange prison jumpsuit looks rather well on you.OOF!!!! Back in the early years of football, many white coaches said that black men were just too stupid to play Quarterback in the NFL. Thank you Michael Vick for proving them right. You were a first round pick in the 2001 Draft. Besides throwing Herpes around to black women in the Atlanta Metropolitan Area under your alias Ron Mexico, you were also pretty good at throwing deep passes to your Wide Receivers. Your electrifying runs and speed made you an super human figure in the National Football League. I always wondered why you were so damn fast and quick. Then it dawned on me: "ANY NIGGA PISSING OFF PITBULLS ALL HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY FUCKING FAST!" Nevermind the fact that you had Hundreds of Millions of Dollars in endorsements and contracts. You threw it all away to....to....FIGHT DOGS? WOWOWOWOWOWOW! Because of you Mr. Vick, Petco refuses to sell Purina Dog Food to Black Men between the ages of 18-35! You were good at
handling pressure from defensive ends*WHOA* and linebackers while playing Quarterback. It's just toobad your homies couldn't handle the pressure from the FBI Agents when they questioned them! All your friends who you THOUGHT were your boys, SOLD YOU OUT as you took the fall for your dumb behavior!
I guess you thought money could buy loyalty huh?
I hear you're making 13 cents an hour making license plates for the State of Virginia , the Atlanta Falcons made the playoffs this year WITHOUT YOU THIS YEAR!It's safe to say that money DOES NOT BUY LOYALTY!
Conclusion:
Money doesn't buy anything important...it may buy materialistic shit...but it can't buy a person ALL what they really need in life to be whole. Stop worrying about getting your shine on and learn to appreciate what you ALREADY HAVE!
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